Coming to Grips with Being Broke

At the beginning of my career as a Jr. High teacher, I didn’t make very much money.   Because of this, I immediately started figuring out ways to make more.  My second year teaching, I got my M.Ed. at night.  The next year I taught night school at Salt Lake Community College and Weber State.  Then I added writing freelance for companies – Polly Oveson: A Concise and Original Voice.  Good times.

Of course, I made more money, but it was never enough. I was like a high school thespian on a treadmill in a Japanese game show.   I must be frank with you, during this time, I was very insecure.  As you all know, we are always the same person, aren’t we? Even when we think we’ve outrun ourselves, we always show up.  Because none of the typical contrivances were eradicating my insecurities, I quit all my jobs, except the Jr. High, and I adopted a mantra:  I have all the time and money in the world.

For example, while buying groceries, I waved a harried woman in front of me in the check out line.  She said, “Oh, thank you, thank you!”

I said, “No problem.  I’ve got all the time and money in the world!”

Or when a friend refuses to let me buy her lunch, I say, “Oh, no, I got this because I’ve got all the time and money in the world!”  This is also why my brother calls me bigsistymoneybags. 

It is so liberating to believe that you have the perfect life, even if you’re crazy. 

No worries, although it’s helped me be generous with some people on a small scale, I still don’t offer to pay when my parents take me out to eat – which is about six times a week.  To which I say, “Of course, I’ll go to lunch with you!  I have all the time and money in the world!”  It helps if you say it in an English accent. 

Also, and this is on topic, I think the world would be a better place if everyone wore StarTrek uniforms.   I’m looking for one.  If anyone would help me out with this, I would appreciate it.  Right now, I just wear the same outfit everyday, and pretend it is a StarTrek uniform.  But if I wanted new clothes, I could get loads of them because I have all the time and money in the world.

Coming to grips with the joy of living is as easy as pretending like you have everything you could need or want right now and then saying it out loud.   Next time someone cuts you off in traffic, try it.  Say to your passenger, "Passenger, I'm glad I'm not in a hurry like that guy.  It's so nice to have all the time and money in the world."