Coming to Grips with Marriage

When my mother got married, her mother told her, “When things get rough, don’t come cry’n to me.” Which is why, in nine words or less, my parents are still married.

My grandmother’s opinions about marriage evolved over time.  When I was in my twenties and dating, she began to have a very different outlook due to the demise of two of her nieces via rotten husbands.   I often traveled down the Nephi to keep her company, and she would tell their sad tales.  One evening, we were eating dinner and she received a phone call.  Her side of the conversation went like this:

“Oh yes, yes.  Well the most important thing is money.”  Pause for listening.  “Yes, uh huh.  Yes, money is the most important thing . . .”

The conversation was short.  I said, “Grandma, what was that about?”

“That was your cousin.  He was wondering what the most important thing is to look for in a potential spouse.”

I said, “Money?”

“Yes, the ability to manage money is the most important thing these days.”  She continued to eat her dinner.

I chewed in silence.  Then in a knee jerk fashion, she dropped her fork and yelled.  “LOVE!  Polly, love is more important than money!”

She picked up the phone and called my cousin back.  This conversation was shorter than the first, and again I only heard her side.  “Love is more important than money.  Yes, yes.  Just remember that.”

When I considered marriage, my grandma said, “When things get rough, get divorced.”  I can’t agree with all my grandma’s opinions – no one can.  There are too many.   Marriage might be rough sometimes, but she’s right about two things.  When you have love and money, it’s easy to come to grips with it.