Before law school, my husband weighed around 170. During school, his weight situation is best described in his own words: “I filled out.”
“You filled out?” I said.
“Yes, I had lean muscle and then little particles came in between my tissues and filled me out,” he said.
I said, “What type of particles?”
“Little fatty particles,” he said.
“You mean fat?”
He shook his head no.
“You mean, you got fat,” I said.
He said, “I filled out.”
Jake wants me to title this post: “Coming to Grips with The Physiological Changes Pursuant to Marriage.” I would like to point out that we married after said weight gain, so his title is logistically impaired.
Unless, of course, he is referring to his wife, who is heavier pursuant to marriage. I would also like to point out that I have no idea what “pursuant to” means. But it is a favorite phrase of my husband’s, so I use it out of love.
Jake recently lost 20 pounds accidentally, and is back to his pre-law school physique. There is no explanation for this.
I asked him what advice he would give to others who are hoping to lose weight accidentally.
He said, “I don’t know. If I did, it wouldn’t have been an accident.”
There are a lot of accidents in this life. Some good: “We accidentally made another person.” Some bad: “I accidentally cut my finger off while trying to clean out the vacuum.”
It is rare to have a weight loss accident.
My parents used to calmly say, “Accidents happen,” after we spilled milk or wrecked the car. They never reacted in anger and provided an excellent example of dealing appropriately with life’s unavoidable, yet unpredictable misfortunes. I’m grateful for my upbringing. If I ever have a weight loss accident, I won’t throw a fit about it. I’ll muddle through. I’ll eek out a little joy somehow.