Des is forgiving and loyal, and I don’t deserve her friendship.
After my typical day of staring into space, Des said, “Polly, I made potato soup last night. Let me bring it over. You can have it for dinner.”
How could I say no? I was starving and her potato soup is delicious!
We ate that soup in seconds. I cleaned out the pot. Then as I went about cleaning my own apartment, found some things that needed a new home. I bought Miralax at Costco, thus had two giant bottles I could never use. I put one bottle of Miralax in the pot.
The 17 sticks of deodorant I had bought would turn into glue before I could use them. So I put some deodorant in the pot.
And some pre-owned lip-stick because I was sick of it, but it really was a nice color.
I thought, “If Des doesn’t want this stuff, she can just throw it away. It’s the thought that counts.”
I left the pot full of laxatives, deodorant and used make-up on her back porch with no note. When I saw her next, I realized my mistake.
“You do not look constipated or colorless. You do not smell. I must have a traumatic brain injury for not thinking that might be a little weird,” I said quickly before she could speak.
Des laughed. Awkward.
Yesterday, I asked Des to tend my son while I helped a family in my church congregation. By the time I got back, she and her family, along with my son were all happily sitting at her dining room table. She invited me to dinner too. How could I say no? Des’ dinners are delicious!
On the table, she had several types of dipping sauces for the chicken and scrumptious cheesy sauce for the chips.
Des watched me. “Are you checking the expiration date on those bottles?” she asked.
I tried the who me? look, but I couldn’t lie. “Yes,” I said. Then I salvaged the situation. “And they’re not expired! Yummy!” I said.
I am so slick; I don’t know how I think of those quick, smooth-over comments (I should have been a lawyer).
I tell you, the perfect way to thank a hostess for her generosity and kindness is to check the expiration dates for her, so she doesn’t have to do it. What can I say? I’m a giver.
Des, thanks for liking me even though I basically the most offensive woman in a 47 mile radius. My hope is that our friendship boosts your self-esteem every day when you compare yourself to me. You’ll always feel better if you do that. No wonder you’re my friend! I really am a giver. But moreover, thank you for your forgiveness. I want to be a better person because of you and that’s what makes a true friend.